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‘God made them male and female.’
7
‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother
and be joined to his wife,
8
and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but
one flesh.
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Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
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Then in the house
the disciples asked him again about this matter.
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He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife
and marries another commits adultery against her;
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and if she divorces her husband and
marries another, she commits adultery.” (Mark 10:2-12)
Jesus quotes Genesis, noting that man and woman were made male and female, and stating
that marriage is the union of these two. For many who reject same sex marriage, it is
essential that the two parties to marriage be male and female, believing that in the created
order the two parties in marriage are to be complementary. These interpreters point to the
creation narrative, in which God separates creation – the heavens above and the waters
below, night and day, male and female. Many use the same logic to justify separate
complementary roles for men and women. However, the full point of the passage is that
they are no longer separate, but in marriage they are reunited as one. In the United
Methodist Church, we have rejected a concept of marriage that is built around God-
ordained, complementary roles for men and women. Instead we have chosen to
understand marriage to be mutual rather than necessarily hierarchical, with marriage roles
not defined by gender but rather by giftedness. Moreover, the church has embraced the
idea that the overarching message of the New Testament is that these categories of gender,
as well as those of race or ethnicity or station in life, are no longer significant in the body of
Christ, for “there is no longer Jew or Greek, there is no longer slave or free, there is no
longer male and female; for all of you are one in Christ Jesus.” (Galatians 3:28) A person’s
gender is not what defines them.
I would argue that the real essence of a biblical marriage is not complimentary genders or
gender roles, but three things: Mutual submission, faithful love, and holiness. As I said
before, Paul’s teaching in Ephesians is that marriage is to re-present the relationship
between Christ and his church. Just as we submit to God, we are no longer independent,
but one flesh, and subject to one another. Just as God is faithful, we are to be faithful, and
show the world God’s faithfulness in the way we do marriage together. Just as God is holy,
we are to be holy, and show the world God’s holiness in our marriages.
In addition to the passage from Mark and Matthew with Jesus’ teaching on marriage and
divorce, perhaps the most pertinent text is in Ephesians:
21
Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ.
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Wives, be subject to your husbands
as you are to the Lord.
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For the husband is the head of the wife just as Christ is the head of
the church, the body of which he is the Savior.
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Just as the church is subject to Christ, so also
wives ought to be, in everything, to their husbands.
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Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ
loved the church and gave himself up for her,
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in order to make her holy by cleansing her
with the washing of water by the word,
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so as to present the church to himself in splendor,
without a spot or wrinkle or anything of the kind—yes, so that she may be holy and without
blemish.
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In the same way, husbands should love their wives as they do their own bodies. He